Online Dating

Wait, Nice Girls Do It, Too!

2009-03-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

It is absolutely true that when online dating sites first started they were populated entirely by perverts, sexual predators, weirdoes, social misfits and emotional wrecks but that is no longer true. Online dating has gone mainstream and has lost all the social stigma it once suffered. Single people of all ages, races, religions and both sexes do it. Short people, tall people, thin people, obese people do it. People from every developed country in the world do it. Nice girls do it, too. The reasons people join online dating sites are as varied as the people who join but mostly they join for three very good reasons: (1) Time (2) Money and (3) It works.

Time: You can go through hundreds of online profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in the same length of time only one real world date takes and the screening is already done for you. You can tell right away if a guy is only looking for casual relationships or long term commitments. How many times have you worked 8 hours, gone home and spent another hour getting ready to go out then gone to the local hang-out for singles only to see the same old jerks, losers and drunks that are always there?

Money: For the price of one evening out on the town you can enjoy an entire month of meeting men from the safety of your own home….do it in your jammies or sweats and with a beauty facial working its magic.

It works. It really does work if you are willing to do the right things. Write a profile that grabs attention, post recent pictures of yourself, be fun and interesting while chatting with the men you meet on line, answering emails promptly and being on time for a pre-arranged online meeting.

There's No Mr. Perfect

2009-03-21T04:52:00.000-07:00

The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won’t find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn’t among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is “what”.

It’s true that online dating, while in its infancy, was only made up of perverts, sexual predators, nerds and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of the single person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people can’t all be wrong. Ask your girl friends if they have ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and maybe more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you. It doesn’t matter what any of your numbers are…like age, height, weight or income either. Somewhere out there in the big wide world there is a man who will like you…..then love you….and think that you are beautiful and desirable. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world is completely different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. It’s even different from one part of this country to another.

Find an online dating site that fits your needs. Write a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few mouse clicks away.

How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?

2009-03-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:

(1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2) Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A) Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B) Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C) Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D) Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E) Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?

These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend

2009-03-19T04:51:00.000-07:00

Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?

Writing a Great Profile for Woman

2009-03-18T04:34:00.000-07:00

OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

Do Not Do This When You Want do Online Dating

2009-03-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

Never, ever, EVER lie. I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are.

Don’t be too eager. It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest. I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”. I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting. Don’t email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.

Online Dating, The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself

2009-03-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

omen should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man

2009-03-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid

2009-03-14T16:06:00.000-07:00

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

Online Flirting – A New Art

2009-03-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting. Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT. If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”. So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language? All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right?

1. Have fun! Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining. Make her eager to talk to you again. Flirting is playful.

2. Ooze confidence. Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life. You need to transmit the “feel good” factor. An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3. 3. Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely. Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself. She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”. Do Not be self depreciating.

4. Listen…listen….listen. Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions. Get her to open up and talk about herself. Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her. Works wonders!

5. Don’t be rude. Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect. If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

6. Send an email after you chat. This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Don’t try to go too fast. Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.

Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes

2009-03-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well. Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and all ages…as do, liars and cheaters. So men need to stay on guard, too.

It is common knowledge not to readily give out personal information to strangers. The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information. If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it. You don’t know what they want to use it for….and you had better believe they want to use it for something. That “something” will not be for your benefit. Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment. Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy. If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately. They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.

If a woman gives you a contact number but you cannot ever reach her at that number, beware. If you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.

A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of. If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.

Online dating is not a competition

2009-03-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female. Grow up. Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”. This isn’t high school. You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now. Your attitude is the most important asset you have. You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.

What is that women want, you ask? That’s the age old question. Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk. There’s a big difference. You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky. They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either. They can’t live up to that expectation.

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all. They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said. They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won. They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.

online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you

2009-03-10T15:56:00.000-07:00

No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want. If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started. The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs. I don’t recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself. Now you are all set. Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends. You don’t want to appear that desperate. Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you. New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

Once you have joined an online dating service

2009-03-08T15:55:00.000-07:00

Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

I’m talking about online dating

2009-03-05T15:53:00.000-08:00

I’m talking about online dating, of course. When the phenomenon of online dating sites started several years ago, they were a haven for perverts, sexual predators, nerds, and weirdoes of assorted varieties.

That is just no longer the case. All the stigma of online dating is gone. Online dating has gone main stream and is, not only acceptable, but expected. Online dating has become the primary tool of single people of all ages to generate an interesting and rewarding social life.

Let’s face it…we are busy guys. We just simply do not have the time, the energy, or the financial where-with-all to date several nights each week while we look for the “one”. You can sort through hundreds of profiles in a month for less money than you would spend on one evening out, thus, saving time and money. We use the internet to save ourselves time and money for a lot of things like investments, shopping, medical information, and communications.

Why not make use of such a useful tool for our social and personal lives as well? You could find the love of your life. At the very least, you will meet some interesting people and possibly make some lasting friendships. It’s easy to get started. All you need is a computer and an internet connection. You’ll need to search for online dating services that meet your specific needs. They are many and varied.

Join one or two. Then you’ll need to write a great profile, upload a recent picture of yourself and start making and answering contacts. That really is all there is to it…that and patience.

Don’t wait any longer to start your new and interesting social life. Miss or Ms. “Right” could be only a few clicks of the mouse away.

Tips On;ine Dating. Honesty Really is the Best Policy

2009-03-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you…and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.

If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.

Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.

Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those who have found or been found.

Online Dtaing, Ask the Right Questions First

2009-03-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

The Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

2009-03-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

More Popular Online Dating Activities For Men

2009-03-01T15:33:00.000-08:00

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”

So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!

Enjoy Your Popular Online Dating Activities

2009-02-27T15:24:00.000-08:00

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate. Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc. Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards- Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand. Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

Tips, Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First

2009-02-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Your Computer

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

Protect Yourself

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

Improve Your More Popular Online Dating Activities

2009-02-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

A couple of popular online activities are sharing recipes and bidding at auctions. And both of these easily fit well into online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

To help many dates get better acquainted online, here’s what potential cyber-dates do.

Sharing Recipes – People get tired talking about the weather. So a popular subject to turn to is food. Sharing favorite foods and recipes helps break the ice and even forms friendships over culinary skills – or lack of – and tastes. Search your favorite search engine for “free recipes” to share. Take photos of your culinary creations and share them with your date, too.

Bidding at Auctions – Ebay auctions sell nearly anything and everything! So surf around and enter searches like the dates you were in middle school. Share cool memorabilia photos of old games and toys from when you were a child or when your parents or grandparents were little; The Dating Game, Oscar Mayer wiener whistles, The Partridge Family Album, Bobby Sherman’s Album, 45’s and more.

Online dating can be an educational and fun experience. So learn more about each other and have fun while you’re at it. Take a cyber-stroll down memory lane together and see what’s cookin’.

Lets Growing Online Dating Relationships

2009-01-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

3. Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.

4. Share special online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).

Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

"AXXo You Are a God" The secrets of BitTorrent's top movie pirate.

2009-01-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

BitTorrent is TiVo for the tech-savvy and the ethically flexible—a way to watch what you want when you want it without having to pay for it. Instead of flipping through the channels or putting on a DVD, you can head for the Web to grab pirated digital copies of whatever movies and television shows you want. As you might expect, downloaders gravitate to popcorn flicks and nerd-friendly TV fare—among the top search phrases on one BitTorrent search engine are Quantum of Solace, Max Payne, Saw V, Heroes, Prison Break, and Fringe. But the No. 1 search query isn't a movie title or the name of a TV show. Rather, it's the name of BitTorrent's top uploader: aXXo.

No matter what metric you choose, aXXo is BitTorrent's biggest name. The editor of the blog TorrentFreak, a 28-year-old from the Netherlands who goes by the nom de Web Ernesto, says that his weekly chart of the 10 most pirated films on BitTorrent is essentially a compilation of aXXo's latest releases. That includes last week's top four: Tropic Thunder, Wall-E, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, and Kung Fu Panda. Exactly how popular are aXXo's movies? Ernesto says that the most popular aXXo titles get 500,000 to 1 million downloads per week. Eric Garland, the CEO of download-tracking firm BigChampagne, says that on a recent, randomly selected day, a remarkable 33.5 percent of the movies downloaded on BitTorrent were aXXo torrents. (The next closest competitor, FXG, is responsible for a mere 8.9 percent of movie downloads.) To judge by the fawning comments on the torrent aggregator Mininova—"i dont know what to do without you axxo," "Tks aXXo! I wish you were my father!," "axxo you are a god"—the Web is teeming with satisfied customers. That god theme is common. Last year, TorrentFreak published an aXXo prayer that begins, "Our Ripper, who art on Mininova / aXXo be thy name."

BitTorrent, as Paul Boutin explained in a 2004 Slate piece, is the smartest file-sharing mechanism yet conceived by man. Downloading something from a single source can be slow and unreliable. BitTorrent speeds things up by grabbing pieces of the file—aka torrent—from lots of different sources. The cleverest thing about the BitTorrent protocol, though, is its sharing scheme. As you're downloading, your computer simultaneously uploads the chunks of the file you've already received to others who still need them. The more popular the file, the more people share it, and the sooner your download will finish.

INTERVIEW WITH ABIGAIL ROSEN (McGRATH)

2008-11-18T01:17:00.000-08:00

I came to be in NYC during the 60's because I still lived at home. I was born there. My mother was the Harlem Renaissance poet, Helene Johnson, and she was raised in Boston, Massachusetts. Actually, she and her cousin Dorothy West, the Harlem Renaissance novelist and short story writer, were raised together as if they were sisters. They did not know that they were cousins until they entered the Girls Latin High School in Boston. They won a contest in Challenge, a literary magazine at the time, and the prize was a trip to NYC. Once my mom saw Harlem, she never looked back. Harlem was the place to be and my mom made a big deal about my being born in New York City. So when, almost nine months pregnant, she moved down south to everybody's consternation to have a child born in Harlem.

Of all the writers during this period, my mother was the only one to have a child, It is so strange that she should spend her youth during the flapper period in NYC when life was filled with wild abandonment and that I should spend mine during the so called hippy period in NYC - talk about wild abandonment! Like mirror reflections only the mirrors were Coney Island fun house mirrors. So, here we have a poet mom raising a child on her own, not in NYC as was her dream, but in Brooklyn as was her reality. We are talking educated poor here - think about it, how many wealthy poets do you know? It is easier to get a job as a meteorologist than as a poet.

Fuck or Blue Movie

2008-11-16T01:14:00.000-08:00

Fuck or Blue Movie was shot in October 1968 at David Bourdon's apartment in Greenwich Village. (FAW36) Although Viva and Louis Waldon do have intercourse in the film, they spend much of the time talking about the war in Vietnam, cooking food and taking a shower. The blue tint of the film was actually an error. Warhol had used tungsten (indoor) film but there was sunlight streaming into Bordon's apartment, resulting in the blue tint.

It was shown only at the Factory until the following year when all four reels that were shot were shown at a benefit for Film Culture magazine at the Elgin Cinema on June 12, 1969. (Ibid) Then on July 21 Warhol put it into the New Andy Warhol Garrick Theatre where Lonesome Cowboys had been playing but was dying "pretty quickly." (POP294) It was a shortened version (only the last three reels lasting 100 mins) and renamed Blue Movie to avoid the censors.

According to Variety, the film made three times what it cost in the first week of being shown. It was seized by the New York City police on July 31, and the theatre's staff arrested. On September 18, the New York Criminal Court ruled that it was obscene and fined the theatre's manager $250.00. Warhol reacted by publishing the film as a book through Grove Press. The book contained all of the film dialogue accompanied by stills from the film.

Scarlett Johansson Is Flattered She Inspired 'I Kissed a Girl'

2008-11-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

Some stars get fan mail. Scarlett Johansson got a platinum-certified single. When told that her lips inspired Katy Perry to pen her hit "I Kissed A Girl," Johansson, who recently married Ryan Reynolds, tells December's Allure, "That's flattering, but my lips are kind of taken." In fact, until Perry's melody was pointed out to her, "I had no idea [about the song]," says Johansson, 24. "I should get a cut!" Yet when the topic of how she met Reynolds, 32, comes up, Johansson cuts off the conversation. "Nobody knows.," she says. "It's private. It's our story." And while she won't reveal the details of their past,

Paula 'Haunted' By Suicide

2008-11-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

Paula Abdul is so freaked out by the suicide of her stalker in front of her Beverly Hills home last week, a friend of the "American Idol" judge says she won't go back to the "haunted house" even after hiring "healers" to cleanse the house of ghosts. "[Paula Goodspeed] was a deranged stalker who sent her death threats. Paula instructed guards to keep Goodspeed away from her at all costs," said a source. "She refuses to stay at home because she fears that the spirit of Goodspeed is haunting her house.

Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap

2008-11-10T01:10:00.000-08:00

Hey folks, it's the Dancing with the Stars semifinals! I'm just as excited as all of you are to see who makes the lucky trio of couples, so let's get straight to it. I have to admit that so far things have gone pretty much as I expected. No surprises whatsoever. I'm hoping that this week we can shake things up a bit, inject a little drama in the proceedings. I'm not suggesting anything Tonya Harding-inspired, but here's hoping for something shocking to happen so we can use that word on the homepage again! Read on to find out who made the final three...

Movie fails 'Jupiter-sized' hype

2008-09-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

When going to the IMAX experience of The Day the Earth Stood Still, the experience did not match the size of the screen.

The movie starts out with Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) teaching her astrobiology class about the possibility of chemicals surviving on Jupiter. The following scene showed Benson preparing dinner for her stepson Jacob (Jaden Smith) until the police apprehend her for reasons they themselves don't know.

The police take Benson to a military airfield where she is transported by helicopter, along with other scientists, to a military base in New Jersey. Once there, the group of scientists learn of an astroid-like sphere heading on a destructive path to Earth. The scientists figure out that the sphere is coming at a speed that would cause apocalyptic events.

Once the sphere enters the earth's atmosphere, its speed decreased so it has a safe landing. After the dust settles, a figure that barely resembles a man emerges. The sphere is surrounded by New York police officers and soldiers waiting in anticipation of what might happen. A lone bullet was shot at the alien, striking him and causing his personal protector to leave the sphere and emit an electro-magnetic pulse, causing the weapons to become useless.

The alien is taken to a gymnasium into a special containment chamber. During the surgery to remove the bullet it starts to shed its outer layer of an organic material, revealing a man. Benson takes a sample of the organic layer to examine the structure. Secretary of Defense Regina Jackson (Kathy Bates) takes the alien to interrogate him. In the interrogation room Jackson learns that Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) is on a mission to save the earth from mankind. Following the interrogation, Klaatu manages to escape and elude the authorities.

Klaatu meets with Benson where he decides to destroy mankind and save the Earth. He then goes to a smaller sphere to activate destruction. After the activation, small spheres placed around the world began to collect animals to save. Klaatu's personal protector began to dissolve becoming locust-like nanites that destroy everything in its path.

Overall the movie did not live up to the hype the trailers created. Reeves' roles as a mysterious character stays true in his latest role as Klaatu. Though his acting style stayed the same, his role did not compare to his past characters.

The movie structure was strong but certain elements, such as obvious advertising and product placement, caused the movie to become less entertaining.

The film had its ups and downs throughout the showing. At one point Jacob Benson goes from asking Klaatu to not hurt a police officer to calling the police to turn him in—rather an implausible plot point.

The scene to make or break the movie came when Klaatu's personal protector dissolved. The scene took too long to develop and did not remain consistent.

My Movie - Sasirekha Parinayam

2008-08-10T02:28:00.000-07:00

As a fan of Krishna Vamsi right from the Gulabi days i was awaiting the release of Sasirekha Parinayam which has a very classy title and the very talented Genelia playing the lead role.

I always admired Krishna Vamsi's characterization of the heroine's , be it Mahalakshmi of Ninne Pelladatha or Vasundhara of Murari you just can't help but fall in love with the character. Kudos to Krishna Vamsi for creating Sasirekha ...Mahalakshmi allari, amayakathvamu, mondithanamu... Vasundhara teluguthanamu, chilipithanamu,.. and add to the the very independent SitaMahaLakshmi of Shekar Kammula's Godavari...that is Sasirekha.

We might have watched many movies with a storyline of a Girl running away from home meeting a Boy and falling in love but what sets Sasirekha Parinayam apart is the telugu nativity, Sasirekha's characterization, very beautifully picturized scenes between the lead pair, natural flow of screenplay without a lot of drama and last but not the least no heavy fights.

Genelia is absolutely a delight to watch on the screen, and i think she is the most talented among her peers. There are many cute moments and interesting dialogs. Sasirekha's dialog about what's expected from a girl when she gets married is pretty impressive, and Anand(Tarun)'s dialog about what kind of marriage he wants is very sweet.

I really enjoyed watching the movie and my heartiest congratulations to Krishna Vamsi for making this beautiful telugu movie.

Accessible 'Grinch' stole hearts

2008-08-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

One of the first times I remember seeing the original Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch stole Christmas was about 20 years ago. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and we were with relatives in Chicago. All of our parents' first grandchildren were babies and toddlers, who were eager to see the show. For years afterward, the warmth of that occasion was conjured up each time I gathered with my own children for the annual viewing.

This year, an entirely new and wonderful layer was added to that family experience.

It was again the day after Thanksgiving, this time my daughters and I were visiting my brother in Toledo, and the movie selected was againthe Grinch.

This time, however, I didn't have to poke my 12-year-old with an intrusive "What's happening?" when there was an unidentifiable sound effect with no accompanying conversation. The film was last year's box-office hit starring Jim Carrey and offered much more for me personally to celebrate than just good old family entertainment.

In a collaborative effort by Universal Studios Home Video and the Media Access Group at WGBH-TV, Boston, a first-of-its-kind product has been released that I hope will be the wave of the future. The Collector's Edition DVD of How the Grinch Stole Christmas (released Nov. 20) is the first commercial product that contains all features for all viewers on every DVD. Video description for viewers who are blind or visually impaired, closed captioning for viewers who are deaf or hard of hearing, deleted scenes, background information on the making of the movie, and more are all on every DVD. Also new is the ability to navigate the selection of such features through "talking menus." Description or captioning are activated each time you watch, so you can choose to use the same DVD for varying occasions.

Searching for "Harry'

Like most households including children, mine was counting the days till the Nov. 16 opening of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone . My daughter has read each of the four books several times, and I've become something of a fan myself. When I learned, however, that the movie had been produced with video description and closed captioning, the allure of seeing it in a fully accessible format was too enticing to resist.

Since the release of The Jackal in late 1997 and Titanic in 1998, a number of first-run movies have been produced with video description for visually impaired viewers and captioning for deaf viewers. Theaters opting to install equipment to display the Rear Window Captioning on a personal viewer and broadcast the video description via DVS Theatrical on personal headsets have made these movies accessible to all moviegoers.

Through the collaborative effort of Warner Bros. and the WGBH Media Access Group, the first Harry Potter movie is being enjoyed in equipped theaters in Boston, New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco and elsewhere across the country.

Unfortunately, no theater in the Tristate has yet installed the equipment.

Heading to Chicago

Movies are at the core of our culture, and a growing number of producers and theater chains are recognizing that moviegoers who don't have to depend on their family members or friends to translate the words being spoken or relay the key visual elements on the screen are more likely to dig in their pockets for the price of a ticket. In other words, making movies accessible to all audiences is not only doing the right thing, but the profitable thing.

I want the Harry Potter viewing experience to be at least as pleasant for my family as The Grinch was in my brother's living room a week ago. I want to appreciate every visual detail of that wonderful wizard boy's life simultaneously with my daughter, not two hours later when someone tells me about it.

That means we won't be buying tickets at home to see the movie we've been waiting for. We're driving to the General Cinema Yorktown in Chicago.